Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. There was some housekeeping to be done, that’s for sure.
I’m not quite sure what this space is going to look like. The old blog doesn’t really suit me anymore.
The last time that I was in here, I was waxing emotional about the new Star Wars movie, awash in nostalgia. That was over a year ago, and I haven’t done much writing since. I’ve focused on drawing, taking part in several small challenges, and the Post It Note doodles sort of took on a life of their own.
For a long stretch, the blog was a great outlet during a scary, stressful part of my life. I’m so grateful for the support that was showered on my and on my family by the amazing friends that this blog brought into my life. I was regularly in contact with so many wonderful people.
And, then I just shut it off. As I’m sitting here, putting together this post, I recognize that this is a pattern with me. I open up for a while, share parts of me that don’t often see the light of day, and then I turn everything off and move on to something else.
I did it in junior high, after my stepdad committed suicide. I had regular appointments with my school counselor several days a week. After about a month’s worth of appointments, talking, talking, talking…I couldn’t do it anymore. My counselor later moved to the high school, and I stopped in one day during my junior year to say hello.
“Do you remember the last time that you came into my office?” she asked.
I shook my head. I had no memory of our last encounter.
“You walked into my office for an appointment. You didn’t sit down. You very politely, very firmly, informed me that you would not be coming for any more appointments. You were done talking.”
I never did go back. I learned later that just deciding not to talk about things anymore doesn’t mean that you don’t have to deal with them. Feelings, emotions, trauma…all those things tend to rear their ugly heads if you don’t process them correctly; but, I do have a bad habit of letting people and things go.
So, this blogging group will be an interesting experiment. I didn’t participate in the various iterations of Reverb that have popped up because I just felt that I’d answered the same questions before.
And, yet…look how much has changed…with me, with my family, my job, my community, and in the world at large.
There just may be a few things to talk about here after all.