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Today, I want to share with you a life-changing practice I discovered with the help of Rachael Maddox during her gorgeous Do It Meaningfully challenge.

Each day for 31 days, I sat quietly for a few moments with my eyes closed and my hand on my heart and asked, “Heart: what do you need?”

And then I listened. Sometimes the answer came in the form of a word. Sometimes an image. Sometimes a sensation.

Try this today. What does your heart have to tell you?

The title of this prompt was “Listen to Your Heart,” and all day, Roxette has been playing in my head.

It was a very frustrating day spent waiting to hear from the surgeon’s office, after learning that they’d “forgotten” to schedule Dave. I was frazzled.

Dave took it in stride, trusting that all would be worked out, and that we’d be fine. My reaction, true to form, was decidedly less magnanimous.

Railing on Twitter and Facebook, venting to my mother, I put my frustration on display for all to see. Friends encouraged me to step in and start making calls, get the oncologist involved and make sure that Dave is home for Christmas.

“I can’t,” I explained over and over again.

Even though a large part of my job is being an advocate for people in this exact situation, even though it’s my first instinct to right the ships and keep things moving, Dave said, “No.”

In my frustration, I tweeted out, “It’s a fine line between being an advocate and being a nag.”

After twenty-one years of marriage, I had to stop and remember to listen to the other piece of my heart…the piece that is Dave’s.

My heart tells me to stop at NOTHING to get Dave well. If that means coming down like a Fury on the head of the poor woman who forgot to make the call to the hospital, then so be it.

But, in this, my heart needs to listen. It’s Dave’s cancer. It’s his fight, first and foremost. I have to remember that he’s lived with ME for twenty-one years. If he needs me to fight, he knows that I will. He knows that I will go to the ends of the earth, and slay any dragon for him. He only has to hand me my sword and step out of my way.

But, if he asks me to be still, to trust and be patient, to forgive, perhaps that is what my heart needs most of all.
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I’m participating in Kat McNally’s REVERB13. Won’t you join us as we take time in December to slow down and look inside? Click the image above to go to her site, I Saw You Dancing.

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