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It’s early. For the past several days, I’ve been catching up on the sleep that I don’t get during the work week. This morning, though, vivid dreams and rumblings in my bowels woke me up before sunrise. I need to work on that whole “Nerves of Steel” thing.

I’ve been avoiding spending time thinking about what December holds for us this year. A typical December would be busy with a visit from my brother, lots of enrollment meetings for work, and preparations and shopping for Christmas.

This year, all of that pales as we wait for a date for Dave’s surgery.

After the octreotide scan results came back last week, we were told that Dave would need surgery to remove the right lobe of his liver, a tumor in the left lobe, his gall bladder, a couple of lymph nodes, and the ileum. The ileum is the connector between the small and large intestines and seems to be the source of Dave’s tumors. There were other places that lit up, but they are very small and the cancer is a slow-growing type. They will just watch those spots for now and deal with them as needed.

Anxiety has taken hold. Because of the holiday weekend, the surgery has not been scheduled yet. We’re anticipating a call sometime tomorrow. We don’t imagine that we’ll have to wait too much longer.

Though it’s a big surgery, I just wish that we could get on with it. Waiting is the hardest part. I’m anxious to get it behind us, so that Dave can get on the road to recovery.

So, this morning, on this early morning of the first day of the last month of the year, I’m sitting with Dave in our family room. We are both writing in the glow of the Christmas tree. The birds have started their noisy chatter in the big Sissoo tree in the back yard. Our little dog is at my feet, and the big dog is stretched out in front of Dave. The kids, in true teenage fashion, are sound asleep.

The day will be one of preparation. Meals will be planned and groceries will be bought. Football will play in the background as I cook for the week, unsure whether we’ll be sitting down together to eat or if the kids and I will be warming things up to eat on the way to the hospital.

Keeping busy will settle the nerves in my stomach, and hold migraines at bay.

I’m in the planning stages for my next Sketchbook Project book. I haven’t put anything on paper yet, but I’m mulling things over in my mind. I’m thinking that it will be centered around our journey with Dave’s cancer. Images are floating around in my head, but I’ve got to get started soon, as the book is due in January. This will be one more distraction for me this month.


I’m participating in Kat McNally’s REVERB13. Won’t you join us as we take time in December to slow down and look inside? Click the image above to go to her site, I Saw You Dancing.