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It’s been a theme here of late, the roller coaster of emotions I am on. By nature, I’m mercurial, influenced by the moods and things that affect my family and friends.

The lowest point this year came right before my birthday. Dave had gotten sick…sick enough to warrant a trip to the ER, and sick enough that they needed to admit him. Dave is never sick, outside of the occasional man cold. To have him in the hospital, with no idea what was making him feel so bad was hard; but, once we finally got him home, it suddenly got so much worse.

Upon being discharged, I took Dave home and then headed to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions. They’d determined that Giardia had made him sick, but they were running tests on a biopsy that they’d done while he was still in the hospital.

A low point came when I got home from the pharmacy and Dave took me into our bedroom. The doctor had called while I was out and apologized for not catching us prior to being discharged. He felt terrible for doing this over the phone, before a long holiday weekend, but he needed to let Dave know that the “things” on Dave’s liver were malignant tumors.

The lowest point was knowing that Dave was by himself when he had to hear this. The doctor was so sorry, and told Dave that he was going to put us in touch with a terrific oncologist. He said that because Dave was a young man with a family, he wanted to do everything that he could to help us.

Almost as low was having to tell our kids. Almost as low was breaking the news to our parents.

Tests and scans, doctors and needles…these became our life for awhile.

Then, a follow-up with the oncologist. The tumors are non-aggressive enough that they can’t even be assigned a stage. They aren’t causing any symptoms. We’d have to schedule more scans in three months, to gauge any changes; but, otherwise, we could go on as normal.

Dave and I walked back to our car in stunned silence. I don’t think that it quite made sense.

We’d been home for about twenty minutes or so when the oncologist called Dave, to give him a phone number to schedule another scan in September.

Dave said, “Dr. Kahn, I’m confused. Is this good news?”

Dr. Kahn said, “It’s VERY good news. It’s the best news.”

Afterwards, Dave and I just held each other. We laughed big, choking, sobby laughs.

For weeks, I’d been trying to figure out how we’d get through cancer, how we’d beat it. Now, we could be cautiously optimistic. They’re still going to monitor the tumors…The Four Horsemen, as Dave calls them. If there’s significant change in them, they’ll be removed.

For now, the relief from hearing that I’m not going to lose my husband any time soon is absolutely the highest point of my year.


My friends Kat & Meredith have provided a wonderful new opportunity for inspiration through August Moon. Won’t you join us?

What is August Moon?

Once in a blue moon, what would you wish for?

On 21 August 2013, we will be experiencing a “blue moon”. There are varying definitions of “blue moon”, but the one we’re working with is the third full moon of the season. Whether you’re a star gazer or not, full moons are undeniably powerful times. As we transition into the last quarter of the year, we are inviting you to join us in responding to a series of prompts designed to bring you closer to all you wanted 2013 to be. We reckon that now is the time to ask: the universe will hear you.