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I would never cut it as a drug addict.

After my gum surgery yesterday, I was given a prescription for antibiotics, and a painkiller.  It’s the generic version of Vicodin.  I’m supposed to take one or two every four to six hours for pain.  Just one was enough to knock me out for several hours.  This morning, I took one at 8:30, right after I dropped my son off at school.  I went in to work, uncomfortable, but knowing that I had a full day’s work to do.

By 11:30, it was clear that I needed to go home.  Not only was I in some pain, but also worried that I’d fall asleep or get sick.  I got myself home and spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping.

Through the years, with various surgeries or procedures, I’ve had different types of painkillers.  While some gave me relief from pain along with a nice buzz, most upset my stomach or made me itch unbearably.

I think that the worst part, for me, is the sense that I am losing control over my body.  It’s why I have never been a big drinker, either.  It’s a common refrain among my friends…”I’d like to see you good and blitzed.  Really let your hair down.”  I never do, with or without controlled substances.  I hold my emotions very close, and don’t often allow myself to show my wild side.

For a control freak like me, it would be completely unimaginable to let go…even a little bit.

Tonight, I am grateful that I do not have an addictive personality.  Watching others that I care about struggle with their addictions makes me thankful that I don’t carry the same demons.  Besides, I don’t really get the appeal of drugs.

I’m participating in #30daysofThanks, inspired by my friend, Amanda, over at www.memydogsmylife.com.  We are finding one thing each day in November to be grateful for.  Join in!  Just use the tag #30daysofThanks and blog or Tweet your daily item.

(image credit)