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Maybe…

I’ve been a bit reluctant to post over the last several days, as I’ve been feeling blue.  With summer comes the passing of some big milestones for my kids, and Saturday is my birthday.

The kids are done with school.  This means that Isabel is now officially a senior.  Ben will be moving to a new school next year, to attend Cambridge Academy.  He’s leaving the grade school that he’s been at since kindergarten.  The teacher, principal and Ben’s friends are all sorry to see him go.  Both kids were well liked and were big influences in the school and will be missed.  I have pictures of both kids on their first days at that school.  Such sweet, smiling, eager little faces they had.  It’s ludicrous to think how quickly the time has gone. 

Their getting older, combined with another birthday for me make me suddenly feel like digging in my heels and clawing at something to slow it all down.

On Saturday, I will be forty-three.  I just received the invitation to our twenty-five year high school reunion.  How the hell did that happen?  I am stunned to find that it got here so fast.  And yes, I acknowledge the number.  I come from a family of women that have always worn their ages with honor.  None of that “29 and holding” nonsense for us.

My grandparents are both gone now, but they set a daunting example to our family of how to stay young.  They traveled Europe well into their sixties, my grandfather continued to act as ringmaster for a small circus into his eighties, and both stayed active in our lives for years.

My parents, too, act like people twenty years younger.  They just got back from a cruise and this summer, my dad is taking our kids rafting, alpine sliding, and on an exploration of cliff-dwellings.

I need to pull myself up short and take a page from their books.  There are some great things on the horizon for my family, and there are a lot of things I want to do.  I refuse to call it a bucket list; but, I have some dreams that, with just a little effort, can come true.

Maybe my birthday wish this year will be that I focus inward and kick start some of the items on my dreaming list.

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