My mom spent time this weekend, with my brother J, and his beautiful fiancée. Part of the time was spent working on details for their wedding in September. To say that my mother and I are excited is to pronounce the grandest understatement of the year.
My brother finally found someone who makes him happy, and that he is crazy about. He absolutely adores her and it is good to see him at a place like this. It’s been a long time coming, and we couldn’t be happier for him.
J is four years younger than me. He’s never been married, and for a long time, was estranged from everyone in our family except our youngest brother, F.
It’s only been in the last couple of years that contact has been reestablished, and he’s let us into his life. He spent a lot of years angry with my mother for marrying the man who is our step-dad. He couldn’t accept that she could be happy with anyone other than his dad…even though his dad had died when J was seven years old.
His fiancée has been married before, and has a teenage son. She also suffers from MS and connective tissue disease. Neither of these people has had it easy, and yet, they have fallen in love and are so very good to each other. They face a lot of challenges, as does any married couple; but, they both seem committed to making the journey together.
Because they aren’t interested in a big wedding, and also because his fiancée doesn’t have a big family, my mom has offered to help with the wedding, a reception and some sort of honeymoon. She gave me a beautiful wedding, and it was exactly perfect for Dave and I. J & his fiancée just want to get married by a judge, and then have a small dinner with some friends and close family. In September, my mom and I will fly up to Denver, to get to see my brother get married. I am so excited to spend time with both of my brothers, and to be part of such a special day. I talked to J this weekend, and asked if there was anything that I could do for him. Smart-ass that he is, he replied, “Not unless you can talk Mom into letting me wear corduroys to the wedding.” Um, no.
The real party will be in December. J & his new bride will come down to Phoenix, as will our younger brother. Along with family coming in from around the world, we will have one hell of a family reunion.
My maybe for today is that maybe our family will put the petty hurts and deeper wounds aside, to celebrate together. Maybe we’ll be able to enjoy each other and for at least one day live and let the water flow under the bridge.