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I have danced around the idea of this exercise for weeks.  It’s not that I have anything particularly shocking to reveal…it’s just that my short memory can be a blessing, sometimes.

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

10 Day Meme:  DAY ONE – Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now

1)  “I will never understand why you couldn’t stay alive.”  I was eleven years old when my mother’s second husband committed suicide.  I begged him to get help, and so did many others.  My brothers were seven and four.  Can you imagine what it’s like to watch your mother break it to two little boys that their daddy is dead?  I am haunted by that every day.

2)  “Why didn’t you keep trying?”  My own father has almost never been a part of my life, with the exception of the year I graduated from high school.  I know where he lives…he moved to Denver from Phoenix, after I moved to Phoenix from Denver.  He’s never tried to contact me or been any part of my life.  He’s missed it all, and has no idea what amazing grandchildren he has.

3)  “Don’t die.”  I don’t mean not ever…just not now, and not any time soon.  I want my cousin, Lisa, to live long enough “that we can be a problem to our children.”  I want us to take our girls to Europe.  I’ve gotten our passport applications, so that when Lisa is ready, we are ready.

4)  “Someday, you and I are going to be best friends.”  This is for my daughter.  At seventeen, I’m the biggest, most embarrassing idiot around.  It’s amazing I don’t fall down more.  I hesitate to rush this, as I know that it will come at the cost of so much.  The hard knocks are inevitable, so when she gets through them, I will be waiting on the other side.  For now, I love her, fight with her, cheer her on and restrain myself from smacking her eye-rolling face.

5)  “You may not make it in the NFL; but, whatever you do, it will be splendid.”  My son is all that a thirteen year old kid should be, and more.  He’s smart, kind, funny, annoying as hell and, like his sister, the very best of Dave & I.  Ben wants to play ball professionally, like all kids his age.  It’s likely that he won’t make it beyond high school teams.  He’s got so much more going for him…both of our kids do.  I look forward to seeing the awesome people they are growing up to be.

6)  “Thank you for believing in me.”  Eleven years ago, I was working in accounts receivables at a large resort.  I knew nothing about insurance.  My cousin introduced me to a woman who would become my mentor, my friend and one of the best examples of women in business that I’ve ever seen.  She hired me, knowing that I could barely spell HMO.  She put hurdles in front of me, not to hold me back, but to challenge me.  She looks out for me, teaches me, teases me and reminds me daily that “it’s just insurance…ain’t it great?”

7)  “Fuck you.”  This is for my old employer.  I gave them ten years as one of their most loyal employees and biggest cheerleaders.  In return, they piled more and more work on me, belittled me and questioned my dedication.  I was a good, reliable, trustworthy employee.  That wasn’t enough for them.

8)  “I miss you every day, and I’m sorry I didn’t spend more time with you in the last year.”  My grandmother started a slow, sad decline after my grandfather died.  In the last couple of years, there were days when she wasn’t “with us.”  We began grieving long before she actually passed away.  It was so hard to see her lose herself.  She had been such a vital, fiery woman my whole life.  I struggled with this…she was more than my grandmother…she was my friend.

9)  “I love you very much.”  I know that we say the words all of the time; but, I sincerely hope that my husband knows how glad I am to be married to him.  We don’t have a perfect life, but it’s perfect for us.  I am grateful for our children, our home, every bit of our life together.  I couldn’t imagine doing this day in and day out with anyone else.

10)  “Let the kids be kids.”  To every hypercompetitive parent, living vicariously through their children, I say, “Let them play.”  Remember that these are little boys and little girls and the game is a way to learn some of the small things that will translate into larger skills later in life.  It’s up to us to be the example to our kids.  Show respect to the coaches, the referees, the other parents, and most of all, to the children.  Sportsmanship is a dying art, and one that should be first and foremost with everyone.  It’s a pretty good bet that none of these kids are going to play professionally, so let them have some fun.

  • Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
  • Nine things about yourself
  • Eight ways to win your heart
  • Seven things that cross your mind a lot
  • Six things you wish you’d never done
  • Five people who mean a lot
  • Four turn ons
  • Three turn offs
  • Two images that describe your life right now & why
  • One confession