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Joy - Take us back to a moment this year when you experienced pure, unadulterated joy.

Cake and Cutlass

Ten years.  That’s how long it had been since the last time my mother had all three of her children and her husband together in her home.

The last time we all came together, it was at Easter, 2001.  My brother, John, was angry and unhappy.  Ugly words were spoken and all of us were left with hearts raw and suffering.

Over the years, my mother has kept in touch with John, making time to see him when she visited my youngest brother, George.  it wasn’t easy for her, and the way that John kept himself at a distance from the rest of us put a pall on holidays and left us feeling that something was missing.

Then, John fell in love.  He found a woman who loved him and that also had a teenage son who put her through the wringer.  Suddenly, John began to understand the other side of the equation.  He could see how much his alienation hurt the rest of our family.

In September, my parents and I travelled to Colorado for John’s wedding.  We had a wonderful week that included a reunion.  We shared our first meal together as a family for the first time in ten years.  Initially, things were tense, as none of us knew exactly what to expect or how to act.  Things warmed up as we all realized that a lot of water had run under the bridge and that we could be ourselves without recrimination.

At the time of the wedding, we had a small reception in Colorado, with the understanding that we’d have another one before Christmas with our extended family.  John and his new bride would travel to Arizona.  That John agreed to this was an indication of how far he’d come from that angry man of ten years past.

There is a tradition in our family.  Whenever someone gets married, we cut the first slice of cake with a Civil War era sabre.  (It’s a Yankee sword…though there is some Southern blood in the lines, most of our heritage lies north of the Mason/Dixon line.)  The sword has been passed down through the generations on my grandfather’s side.  Growing up, it was displayed in the entryway of my grandparents’ home, and all of the grandchildren were fascinated by it.  We would always ask to unsheathe it (we weren’t allowed to,) we’d chime the deep toned chimes that hung beside it, and we always got to blow one toot on the ringmaster’s whistle that hung nearby.  (We usually tried for two.)

My grandfather would always make a speech that involved stories of the valiant soldier that carried the sword and usually some sort of joke about the sword having been cleaned one or twice since the days of battle.

Now that my grandfather is gone, the sword duties have been passed along to my cousin, Tom.  Tom is the oldest grandson.  He has studied videos from past family weddings and has added his own personality to the presentation.  He bears the responsibility well, and my grandfather would be so proud of him.

Last Saturday night, on what would have been our grandparents’ 64th wedding anniversary, family from near and far gathered in my parents’ home for another wedding reception.  Tom gave a beautiful speech, welcoming my brother’s new wife to the family.  Tears flowed from just about every eye in the house.  Seeing my brother so happy, seeing my mother so, so happy brought me such an incredible sense of joy…as profound as any I’ve experienced.

To know that we had finally all let the hurt of the past go, and could come together again was such a welcome feeling.  Sharing in the traditions of our family, we were finally a family again.

In the month of December, I am participating in reverb11.  It is a chance to look back and reflect upon the year just passed, and to look forward to 2012.  Each day, a prompt is issued, and the reverb11 community interprets the prompt in accordance with their own experience.  Join us, won’t you?

http://reverb11.geekinhard.com/2011/11/list-of-lists.html?spref=tw